Published: Nov. 26, 2025.
Listen to the interview on the iHeart Radio Website.
Porch Light Health’s Chief Clinical Officer Steve Carleton joined KOA Radio host Ross Kaminsky to discuss men’s mental health, recognizing when someone is struggling, and effective approaches to supporting loved ones during the holiday season. The conversation explored how routine changes during holidays increase stress and anxiety, gender differences in communication about mental health, and practical strategies for starting supportive conversations.
You may think with this next topic, the next topic is mental health and especially men’s mental health, that well, why are you talking about this on a happy day like Thanksgiving?
And I’ll tell you exactly why.
I don’t think of, you know, a conversation about mental health challenges that kind of thing as a downer. What I think of is how great it is that in recent years it’s become okay for people who are struggling with mental health, or who have friends or family members who are struggling with mental health to recognize it and get help. Joining us to talk about it’s Steve Carlton.
Steve is an addiction and mental health counselor with Porch Light Health and a private practice counselor as well.
Steve, Welcome to Koway. It’s good to have you here.
Yeah, great to be with you. Ross. I love how you frame that up. This is thinking about this as an opportunity to talk about mental health and make it more okay for people.
So we just have five or six minutes, so I just want to I want to jump right in and of the things I want to ask you about. You know, it used to be and maybe still in some corners it is, but much less. It used to be that saying you know, I think I’m struggling or I am struggling, or speaking out or getting help was perceived as some kind of flaw or weakness. And would I would like to ask you a two part question. How has that changed? And why is it important that it’s changed?
Yeah, I think it has changed because people are coming to accept that their mental health is just another aspect of their health right. And so it’s really been a significant change that people are willing to speak out and say I’m struggling with depression, I’m struggling with substance use, I’ve had this significant event and I don’t quite know what to do with it. And so that that has been a really important shift.
You know, as we’re heading into the holidays, these are this is a time where I think it’s really happy for a lot of folks, for most folks, but I think for people who are dealing with depression and perhaps some other mental health struggles, and especially if they’re folks, you may tend to be a little bit lonely on the holidays, like maybe they don’t have somewhere to go.
This can be a time that for some folks is actually the worst time of year, certainly.
You know, I think the holiday is just on a good day. They’re just a change in your routine. And anytime people get out of their normal routines, they become more susceptible to stress and anxiety, right, Or there’s comfort and going through our daily grinds, right, And so when we’re traveling and sitting in traffic, waiting the line at the airport, spending more time with family that maybe you don’t see as much like, these are just natural times when people become more stressed and so out there just understanding that that’s normal. It’s a happy time, and it’s also a time when you’re out of the regular.
So let’s talk a little bit now about you know, solutions and what to do, right, And I think what I’d just like to focus on here, especially this holiday time where people may be more likely to be, you know, hanging out with family.
Or maybe close friends than in the past.
What’s your advice, Steve on how a person might talk with another person who they think that that other person may be struggling and you know, would like to try to help him or her get some help.
How do you talk to someone like that? You know.
I think the thing that’s most important to think about if you’re worried about somebody, if there’s genuine concern there. Starting with the more severe, it’s really important to pick your spot when you approach him with that, right, don’t hit him with that when you’re sitting at dinner with twelve other people, right, be mindful about sort of set and setting right, like hey, can I go to coffee? And like, Hey, I’m worried about you. I’ve noticed a few changes. I’ve noticed you’re more isolated. I’ve noticed your more irritable, Like I’m here to help, right, what can I do to help support you through this time? So picking your spot and having a clear message and offering support like those three things.
We’re talking with Steve Carlton from porch Light Health their website porchlight health dot com. He’s also a professor at at DU and their Graduate School of Social Work. So a little bit more into the weeds on this, And I realize every situation, especially in your line of work, is very very specific and it’s difficult to generalize. But sticking with this thing we were just talking about, if there’s someone you’re close to you think is struggling and you want to talk with them about it. Generally, would there be a way that might be slightly more effective talking to a man and another way that may be slightly more effective talking to a woman, Or is the approach really the same?
No, it actually there’s significant differences, just starting with posture. First, You’re more likely to engage with men if you’re facing the same direction. So say you’re in the car driving somewhere like facing the same direction, kind of that goal oriented we’re go both moving in the same direction. That tends to help make it a little bit more safe. And women tend to prefer squared up conversations where you’re looking at each other directly in the eyes. The other real difference with men versus women is men tend to be a little bit more action oriented, a little bit more problem solving, right, so diving into that side of it, whereas women tend to be more comfortable being vulnerable processing emotions. Right. And so when you’re thinking about men versus women, it’s important to pay attention to kind of your posture when you’re communicating and sort of what you’re tending to focus on.
You know, it’s very interesting that first thing that you bring up because is just a few days ago on the show we were talking not so much in a mental health thing, but just in a socializing thing, the difference between men and women, and how like, if two guys go to a bar to hang out, you know, they’ll likely sit at the bar next to each other, and if two women go to a bar to hang out, they’re more likely to sit at a table facing each other. Yep, kind of amazing.
I had never thought about that, and now it comes up like twice in a week in any case.
Steve Carlton, addiction and Mental Health counselor with Porch Light Health’s private practice counselor as well, Thanks so much for your time and the great insights, and have a wonderful Thanksgiving my pleasures.
Thanks Ross.
All right, gosh, I thought that was absolutely and that was absolutely fascinating
